How to Deal With an Unwanted Gift (For him and for her)
Let’s be honest. No matter how well-intentioned the giver, and no matter how lovely the occasion, sometimes a gift just misses the mark. It might be the wrong size, the wrong style, or simply not something you’ll ever use. And while it’s easy to joke about “gift disasters,” the reality is far more delicate — especially when the giver is someone you care about.
I’ve been helping people choose gifts for nearly twenty years now, and one thing I’ve learned is this: the gift itself matters far less than how we handle the moment around it. Whether you’re the recipient trying to be gracious, or the giver wondering why she doesn’t look quite as thrilled as you’d hoped, there are gentle, thoughtful ways through this situation.
This guide will help you navigate unwanted gifts with kindness, honesty and, most importantly, without hurting anyone’s feelings.
If You’re the Recipient
Start With Kindness
If your first reaction is disappointment or confusion, take a breath. Remember: gifts are rarely about the object itself. They’re expressions of affection, clumsy sometimes, but still rooted in care.
Before you say anything, think about the intention behind the gift:
- Did they try their best?
- Were they under pressure, unsure what to choose?
- Are they someone who struggles with gift-giving?
Most people are doing their level best — and just want to make you happy.
Find Something Honestly Positive to Say
Graciousness isn’t about lying. It’s about acknowledging the effort, even if the item itself isn’t perfect. Try something like:
- “Thank you — that was really thoughtful of you.”
- “I can see you put a lot of care into choosing this.”
- “What a lovely surprise, thank you.”
You’re not pretending to love it. You’re appreciating the gesture, which is what truly matters.
Consider Whether You Can Use It Anyway
Some gifts grow on you. Some become sentimental simply because of who gave them. And some are perfectly usable even if they’re not quite “you.”
In my experience men agonise over finding the right piece of jewellery for their wife or girlfriend and are devastated when the choice falls flat, So before you jump to exchanging it, ask yourself:
- Could I wear it occasionally, even if not every day?
- Could it work with a different outfit or setting?
- Would it make them happy to see me using it?
If the answer is yes — even occasionally — you may want to keep it. Jewellery, especially, often becomes meaningful simply because of the emotion attached to it.
If It’s a Size Issue, That’s Easy
Wrong size? That’s not a “failed” gift — that’s just normal life. With jewellery especially, even a well-meaning partner can’t be expected to guess perfectly.
Simply say:
“I absolutely love this. Shall we see if we can get the right size so I can wear it properly?”
No guilt. No awkwardness. Just a practical solution.
At Corazon, we offer a no questions asked money back guarantee, and exchanges cost nothing more than the cost of the return postage to us
If You Really Don’t Want It, Be Honest — But Gentle
If the gift truly isn’t right, honesty is kinder than forcing yourself to pretend. The key is to make it about the item, not the giver. For example:
“This is such a lovely idea, and you know I appreciate the thought — but I don’t think it suits me as well as it should.”
Or:
“I really love the thought behind this, but I think something slightly different might work better for me. Would you mind if we looked at other options together?”
Most people will be relieved that you’re being honest, because they want the gift to be something you actually enjoy.
If It Came From a Company With Easy Returns
You’re in luck. Many jewellery companies (us included) offer:
- No-quibble returns
- No time limits
- Easy exchanges
- Friendly human help
So you can treat the gift as the starting point — not a dead end.
If You’re the Giver
First, Don’t Panic
If her reaction is less enthusiastic than you hoped, it doesn’t necessarily mean she hates it. Many women feel guilty about receiving something they won’t use, and they try to hide that discomfort with politeness.
The important thing is this: you tried. And that counts for far more than you think.
Look for Subtle Clues
Women don’t always tell you directly. Look for:
- A forced smile
- Holding the gift but not trying it on
- Putting the box aside quickly
- A polite “thank you” without warmth
These are gentle signs the gift may not be quite right.
Give Her an Easy Way Out
One of the kindest things you can do is take the pressure off her. Try something like:
“If this isn’t perfect, don’t worry — we can always swap it for something you prefer.”
Or:
“I wasn’t sure on the style/size, so if you want to exchange it, that’s totally fine.”
You’re not admitting failure — you’re showing thoughtfulness. Women absolutely love that.
Don’t Take It Personally
Your wife not loving a particular necklace has nothing to do with how she feels about you. Style and sentimental value are personal things. This isn’t a test you failed — it’s just a practical matter of preference.
And if you’re reading this, it means you’re trying to get it right. That already puts you miles ahead of the norm.
Choose Where You Shop Carefully
A good jeweller should make your life easier, not harder. Look for companies that offer:
- Clear sizing help
- Real customer service (a person, not a chatbot)
- Fast delivery
- Gift wrapping
- No-stress exchanges
The peace of mind is worth its weight in gold.
If in doubt, start with the classics. Pieces that are well received time and again. A good jeweller should be able to steer you in the right direction
And Remember: The Gift Isn’t the Point
At the end of the day, an unwanted gift isn’t a catastrophe. It’s simply a moment for two people who love each other to communicate kindly and honestly. And in a strange way, it can even bring you closer.
Most “gift disasters” I hear about end with a laugh, a hug, and a much better choice the second time around. Many of the men I help tell me that they used to dread giving gifts — now they look forward to it, because they finally feel confident.
And if you ever need a hand choosing something, understanding sizing, or quietly checking whether your idea is sensible, you know where I am.